So Melbourne, what's with all the lycra?
Seriously, every weekend I'm made to feel like a huge heffer as I walk down every high street in town. There are guys and gals EVERYWHERE in their gym gear. Do people actually exercise or just laze around in their fluoro get up?
It's like the South Yarra uniform - those X full length leggings, long tshirt and puffa vest. And Ray-Bans or the like. Always a perfect blonde ponytail. And sometimes a NY Yankees cap. Now the cap, I can do.
It took me a while to get used to this phenomenon. I mean, I'm not unfamiliar with the concept of exercise but post brunch sweating? Not for me. What ever happened to lazy weekend sleep ins, slow starts in the morning before slipping into a pair of well worn and uber comfy ballet flats with a pair of tried and tested jeans and a nice top? Even a nice dress if the weather's warm?
No way, why would you peel out of your socially acceptable 'tracksuit' for those structured items!? Not in Melbourne. Lycra is the new black, ladies.
So I've decided to embrace it. Yep, you read right. I'm donning what I like to call my 'daytime pyjamas' and getting around in my lycra all weekend. My new gym pants even have a hidden zip and pocket in the waistband so I can hit the shops with a credit card. Genius.
And bloody hell, it's comfy. I'm especially digging my new neon pink, green and black cross over back sports bra. Who knew a sports bra so supportive and comfortable could even give you cleavage? If you've got it flaunt it, right Mum?!
And to top it all off, I'm even running. Oh yes, now you should be shocked. I've signed up for the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation. I'm afraid, very afraid. Everyone I know who's gone on it has had amazing results. But what if I'm that anomaly, the exception to the rule, the one that fails? I'm doing it with Bree so we send pics of our meals to each other along with words of encouragement and support. Bree is a lot more organised, disciplined and positives and she's seeing results while I just send her desperate texts "I'M STARVING! I HATE MICHELLE BRIDGES!"
But I'll stick to it. The recipes are YUM and the motivational videos are brutally honest. She's one unforgiving tyrant of a trainer, that Michelle! And it's nice to feel part of a community, a warm and fuzzy family of fatties, trying to change their lives one rice cake at a time.
So let this be a heads up for my future boyfriend . . . I'm currently in training to be the hottest girlfriend you've ever had.
Oh, and if you're looking for me, future boyfriend - I'm the one with the brown ponytail and good cleavage doing the Tan. Make sure you say hi!