Disappearing acts

Got the surprise of my life today when I opened my afternoon mamamia update.

I seriously thought one of my friends had taken an email I'd sent to them from earlier this year and published it for all to read . . .

"I was dating a guy for a while, and it seemed to be clicking along nicely. He talked about long-term stuff, he told his friends about me, he even introduced me to his sister.
And then he got abducted by aliens. Or fell off a cliff. Or died in frozen aisle of the supermarket. I’m not sure what happened, but he completely disappeared. As I like to call it, he did a Ghosty.
One minute he was inviting me over for the weekend, the next minute, poof! He’d turned into a ghost. No more calls, no more messages. No responses to the voice mails I left (just to be clear, I was extremely far from stalker territory. I was very restrained, considering I wanted to beat his door down just to kick him in the shin and run away). Our plans for the weekend were left hanging in mid-air. I still don’t know if he actually died. We weren’t connected on any social media, so I was left typing his name into Google to see if any obituaries came up.
For an extremely mild-headed girl, I was absolutely livid. Any excuse under the sun would have made me a lot happier than a Ghosty."

Words from my soul sister. Lucy Gransbury, you speak to me.

I've pretty much detailed the exact same experience to my friends across the country - here's looking at you Beth, Alice, Sally . . the list of victims is extensive. Apologies to my friends for these explosions of dating diarrohea.

They'd had it from me on numerous occasions these last few months. The same heartbroken emails, teary phone calls and texts of complete dismay. "How did it happen again?!"

Some of these boys are outlined here for your reading pleasure. But there have been more losers since March. At least three . . .

Seriously dudes, why can't you man up?

Take Lucy's advice and come up with an excuse - as lame as it is - and have the decency to end it. Don't leave me hanging. 

Read her article here. I LOVE it!

In the meantime, who's free tomorrow night? I've had some space cleared in my diary ...

*** Update 24 June 2014: I had breakfast with a friend on the weekend and she suggested that perhaps I should tone things down - we don't want my future husband coming across this post and mistaking me for a psycho, bitter single girl. So I've removed the specifics and names - I did Media Law at uni, I should know better than to slander! 

Yu are the best

Yu have changed my life.

Yes Yu. No, not you. Yu.

Meet my new favourite lipstick. The pink colour is perfect and the pencil goes on like a dream.

My friend Melissa gave me Yu for my birthday and I in turn gave Yu to my Mum for Mother's Day.

It's a totally different pink on her - quite hot pink on me, but dark pink on Mum.

It's a winner. But really, when has anything Nars ever not been a winner?

Yu complete me.

However, when I'm going on a date, I do steer clear of pink lippy. Just in case, you know, as my Mum would say, I "get lucky"

So I've found myself adopting a love of nudes lately, a la Kim Kardashian. Have been rocking the Chanel Rouge Allure 'Indecise' like a boss lately. Thanks for the introduction, JB.

Makes me sound quite active in the dating stakes, doesn't it?

If only it were true . . .

#usinglotsofpink

#wishthenudewasrunningoutfaster

Couldn't have said it better myself

(If only sound worked on this!)

 

This dating game is ruthless! And tiring. And expensive.

 

It's been a fun summer, but seriously, where is he?

 

There have been a few candidates along the way, let's recap:

• The weirdo with the bag of chocolates keeping warm in his pocket that he produced as a gift for me (weird, but they were Lindt so . .  .)
• The dude with the lisp who was so lovely but reminded me far too much of my brother (so pashing was way out of the question)
• The English guy who liked long {awkward} pauses and wore sneakers with socks
• The catch of the year who I never met even after four weeks of texting (I'm starting to think he never existed - just call me Casey Donovan)
• The dude who drank coffee, and only coffee - look, I like coffee but I'm so much more charming and witty and gorgeous after a few vinos
• And most recently, the perfect guy (sigh) who turned out to be the biggest turd in the world (insert expletives here)

 

I even looked this up this morning, out of pure desperation, but my mother would kill me.

 

The time has come to turn to the sisterhood - surely you must have wonderful, eligible, charming male friends out there?

 

My friends are having their first 'Bring a Friend Friday' drinks at The Carlton this Friday in the city, and I invite you to a) come along and b) bring a delightful male guest! We're all new to Melbourne and are keen to broaden our friendship group - it's very Adelaide centric at the moment an it's time to adopt new peeps to the fold!

 

There will be other singles there (that's the good thing about this city, I'm not the only one!) and it's sure to be fun. Beats sitting on the couch on your own eating a whole block of chocolate and watching online episodes of Real Housewives of Melbourne (because that's not what I did at all last Friday night . . .)

 

Let's talk, friends!

 

PS. How GOOD is Real Housewives of Melbourne!? #carcrashtv #loveit

 

UPDATE

 

And here my friends, is the extended clip . . .